Birth of My Inner Consciousness

Birth of My Inner Consciousness

Birth of My Inner Consciousness started when Maarten was in total conflict over making a decision to leave the family business of 28 years and devote more time to his art.
This painful choice was made for him in November of 1990 when
his heart stopped.
There he was on the floor,
dead to me and the world,
lifeless eyes staring and the last expiration of air gurgling from his throat.
And there was I, in shock, blanketed in
automatic pilot with two separate
sets of instructions.
Do CPR.
I started the check list,
no breathing,
adjust airway,
no pulse.
Another inner voice stronger said to me,
"Nadine, if you're bringing him back because you can't live without him
it is for selfish reasons,
you know his pain,
listen to his soul and you may call him
but do not interfere further in his journey.
It must be his choice."
So I called him, "Maarten, Maarten, Maarten."
And then in that suspended time and space that is short but feels forever, his voice, irritated, was saying,
"What are you doing? What are you doing to me?"
His heart suddenly on overdrive and he was freezing cold.
I called our friend Dr. Charles Ludgate from next door and dear Charles called the ambulances.
Maarten had seen the ambulances in one of the last of four visions he had had on dying.
The slow re-entry to life as an artist with a wide open heart began.
Pain had created some amazing art but his next evolution was through joy.

Nadine Stewart Schaddelee Storyteller
From her book ‘Inspirations From Maarnada’

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